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eastflatbush:

i sell unbelievable combs.
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com-pulsion:

I want a cactus in a cute little pot and I’ll name it after you because you’re a fucking prick.

(via the-absolute-best-posts)

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chefboyardeezie:

banjo-jeff:

chefboyardeezie:

when im rich the first thing im doing is getting laser hair removal on every inch of my body that isn’t my head

you’ll look pretty funny without eyebrows

im at least 3% sure that my eyebrows r on my head

(Source: kuzco2000, via thelost-boyz)

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dinkweed:

i am so threatened by pretty girls they are terrifying 

(Source: friendzonked, via laughfloor)

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awwww-cute:

Maximum fuzziness achieved! The vet’s favorite patient today
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datingat23:

fistfulofweasley:

I think the thing people don’t realize with that bullshit “well not all guys are dangerous, you should give them a chance” or what the fuck ever is like 

if i had a plate of cookies and i was like yeah, a few of them have laxatives in them and one’s got cyanide in there, BUT THEY’RE NOT ALL LIKE THAT

you’re probably not gonna take a fucking cookie

I can’t breathe. This is so accurate.

(Source: acederek, via shellzino)

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religiousdad:

bluemoon-martini:

stardustmote:

Pen caps that don’t fit on both ends of the pen.

image

WHAT KIND OF MOTH IS THAT 

an angry one

(via topaintfeathers)